CHECC 2014
Friday, 21 November 2014 – Sunday, 23 November 2014

After a week of deadlines and stress I was looking forward tremendously to an opportunity to get quite fucked and see some of my friends from around the country, and CHECC is the pinnacle of such social events. The drive down to South Wales was uneventful on most accounts and speedier than expected. We arrived at midnight and Rowan Scott (CPC, sick mind) and equally ill-brained individuals Damp Patch and Ian Holmes were immediately spotted in ill-fitting dresses drinking evil concoctions from the small bar which was set up in the back of Rowans van. Rowan was really fucked and that was good fun. I donned my snort speed, worship satan bra (the virgin Mary) and proceeded to get into the swing of things and was soon not well engaged in the mental faculty. The minibuses then arrived. I saw many good friends, including Fleur and Pete (RRCPC), Elaine Oliver, Michael Sargeant and David Walker (Cambridge folk), Mesh, Petey M, Tom Cm MegMeg and the other Cardiff dudes and the SUSS brigade. Sam Allshorn Deeley, Emma Battensby and Matt St. Clair were there and we had a good reminisce about Aggy. Stefan Thomas was also there and he provided strong entertainment, along with Christopher from Reading and Jack John Williams and Ben of Oxford. After all this catching up, it was soon 4:30am and I had missed all the ULSA antics. These were soon discovered, however, upon entering a room to find David Walker looking very pissed near a table and Nadia and Ribicca wrestling Rowan, who had his balls out all over the place. I retired at 6am after this excitement ceased and everyone was sat around in a circle on the floor in some kind of twisted drunken therapy session.

I awoke at 9:30am feeling very spritely and ate an apple. Nadia looked very ill and I got her some water. The morning was spent faffing and writing names on bits of paper. I declined to take much part in this and fashioned my bra into a hat instead. Soon a convoy of vehicles set off for Aggy. I was to pretend I knew what I was doing (along with Brendan and Pete from Cardiff) with some people in a cave. Fun. Soon we were in and I remembered quite a lot of the way (though it was comforting to have a survey) and occasionally had wry, hilarious and simultaneously tragic memories of Aprils epic. The way to Barons Chamber and the Main Passage was found without mishap and I found the correct (not Southern Stream) passage to the main streamway. We persevered along this for a time, encountering some interesting rope climbs and fun in the boulder choke. It got to 4:45 and we turned round. We were out for half 6. No one got hurt and we didnt have to camp underground. Success! We arrived back just in time for chili. Everyone went for an inexplicable nap while I listened to Dachstein orientated rantings from Joel Corrigan and co, which actually sounded quite fun. Soon it was games time and beer pong was first up, Mike having already competed in the SRT race and ladder climb. I couldnt be arsed with this so I left to talk Dachstein again. I returned in time to be roped into doing the pan and sling with Matt again. We lost at the 6th round. We decided to enter body traversing and got our tekkers properly sorted, only to find that the adjudicators were no longer adjudicating. Slightly annoying; alcohol numbed this potential loss. Soon the stomp was in swing, Ebeneezer Goode and Sandstorm featuring heavily along with Barbie Girl during which Nathanael was seen to be getting the moves on like it was his 8th birthday all over again. I was pretty mashed and accused of overzealous moshing. I remember stumbling into bed at about 6am and not much else apart from being sick (tactfully, outside and in a bush) after a brief yet very volumous encounter with some whiskey. Apparently Mike, Rowan and Nat were told off for jousting.

I awoke feeling very rough indeed and refused to move until about 12:30pm, thus missing the AGM, a tearful farewell from Hellie and a fearful reaction to the possibility of Brendan becoming CHECC chair. Sad and glad I missed that one. When I did eventually get up, I was very glad that I did not see Holmes for the latter part of Saturday night, as it transpired he had drunk some paraffin believing it to be gin. Had I been there, I cant see myself having the ability to distinguish either. Soon, we set off for Porth y Ogof. My stuff got quite mixed up between vans and when we arrived I believed myself to not have any wellies. Wearing my boots, I was quickly soaked. Not quite as quickly as some though. Nadia bent over in the streamway to pull up her kneepads so received a large amount of water in her face, and then fell for the old look at this interesting bit of water *splashintheface* trick at the hands of Nathanael. However, later in the trip she proclaimed that her feet were still dry, so I pushed her into a pool. A bit harder than intended. She got a full body soaking. Whoops. We got lost in a bit called the Maze, and Rob Rignall struggled with the left-right concept. We reached the resurgence, and since Nadia and Caroline were clearly suffering from a lack of motivation and I wanted to get changed, we exited here while the others explored some other bits en route back the way we came. Soon after, we were on the way back to Leeds, having stopped for a kebab in Ross-On-Wye at Prontos. On arriving at chapel, I discovered my wellies and wetsocks in a bag in the MPV. Im such a fuckartist.

Home and bed after reading up on the worst names ever given to a child (highlights were Key, Elbow, Beyounce and Sistopher).

Smashing weekend. Cheers to Peachey, Lincoln, Matt, Brendan and Kristian for driving and to the CHECC committee for organising.